Shazia Mirza is an award winning British stand up comedian and writer originally from Birmingham England. Although she doesn't live there anymore because she's doing well.

And what do awards mean anyway? You get awards these days just for leaving the house and cutting your toenails.

"I could have married a rich man and lived in a big house,waking up every morning surrounded by diamonds and Louboutins, looking out of my window onto acres of land with horses and a swimming pool where people could drown after cocaine fuelled parties.

I could have had five children all at a soulless private school that I could brag about to women I didn't like after dinner parties at The Dorchester Hotel. I would wake up next to a big hairy man who smelt of £50 notes, crass aftershave and a big gold Middle Eastern necklace round his neck, with his name on, just incase he gets lost in the day. But one day whilst cleaning the bathroom I'd think 'What have I done with my life?'

So I am a comedian.

I wake up surrounded by pizza boxes and mice. I look out of my window and see five different coloured bins, and the only pool I have is in the bathroom where the roof is leaking. I wake up in the morning next to socks and biscuits.

One day I will live in Palm Springs"

Her new show the critically acclaimed 'The Kardashians Made Me Do It' is now on tour.

'As brave a piece of comedy as you'll see'  Mail on Sunday

''The Kardashians Made Me Do It' is brave and urgent  The Telegraph

'Strikes a blow' Metro