01 June 2008 - News of the World www.fabulousmag.co.uk
Now we're in the grip of a credit crisis.
It may sound depressing, but it might just bring back some long-forgotten fun into our lives.
For a start, jumble sales will make a comeback.
My childhood Saturdays were spent in a church hall with clothes that had the faint whiff of lavender bags and death, but I loved it because everything cost 5p.
You may not be able to go out as much, but be honest with yourself - most of the time you end up kissing a strange man before stuffing your face with a kebab then falling asleep with your clothes on.
The horrible truth is, you've spent a fortune on a night you barely remember.
The credit crunch might even cheer us up by reminding us that we can have fun by staying in and making our own entertainment.
And relationships will last longer because we won't be tempted to trade saliva with anyone else while we're out on the razz.
Instead we'll be at home with our true loves having sex and playing Twister, maybe at the same time.
The crunch will strike hard at our vanity - it means we won't be able to buy any more shoes ever, and we'll definitely have to ease off on trips to the hair salon.
But there's an easy solution to that one - we can cut our own hair. Just stick a fruit bowl on your head, cut round it, and voila! We'll all look vaguely like Cliff Richard but we'll pull it off with panache like they did in the '70s.
This credit crisis will curb our socialising and our use of flexible friends, so instead we'll have more nights in with our real mates.And it will revive the good old British holiday. Yes, we all dream of a holiday on a private beach in Bermuda complete with our own personal butler, but honestly, it does get pretty boring after day five when you've eaten the entire buffet and stolen everything from the bathroom.
So instead, we'll fight through the rain to jump on the bus to Scarborough, clutching packed lunches in Tupperware, happy in the knowledge that our carbon footprint is suddenly shrinking and reminded that the simple things in life are often the most fun.
So let's embrace the credit crunch. I'm looking forward to sex in my second-hand clothes in a tent in my back gardenForget Clarins, that's what will really make me feel young again.