She Says- Is Physical attraction essential?

20 December 2008 - Asian Woman Magazine

When you log onto Shaadi.com, Muslimmatrimonials.com, Dating direct, or Iam desperate.com, the first thing anyone wants to see is not your bank balance but your mug.


By mug I mean face. And my God do you see some mugs on these sites. Touched up, plastered on, pulled back, bleached, streaked, lasered, ironed, and some definately need to be masked.


Some are really bold about their looks, "I am very handsome, the ladies have never complained, I am very fair skinned, the reason I'm not married is because I haven't been ready." Reply: "But you're 52 years old". He says "Yes, but I'm still handsome"


Initially physical attraction is important. It's like cake. If you like the look of it, you eat it.

 Across a crowded room, in the workplace, walking your dogs, on the 38 bus, you don't stalk someone who's not attractive. That initial attraction is important. From my experience no man fancies a woman with a moustache whose breasts are so saggy she needs to kick them out of the way to walk and no woman fancies a man with untrimmed nostril hair and three distorted nipples.


However, when a woman is beautiful and a man is rich- the moustache is on the other face.


Throughout history mingers with the Midas touch have always triumphed in love because of their cash. Donald Trump, Mick Jagger, Peter Stringfellow, Ronnie Wood, even Salman Rushdie- Who knew a Fatwa brought sex appeal? Ever since this man has been on the brink of death he's had women all over him like marmite on toast. If it was a woman with a fatwa, it wouldn't be sexy, it would be slutty. She wouldn't have Clooney, Depp, or The Rolling Stones knocking on her door, but more like flying Stones in her face.


As time goes on looks become less and less important. Take my mum and dad for instance. My mum in her twenties was young and beautiful, my dad was handsome but fast forward a few years, and my dad began to look like the curry house he frequently visited. When I say frequent I mean about seven times a week. But they were married now and thankfully they were united in other ways not just the looks. Friendship, companionship, children, family, loyalty, tradition are other maybe more important factors essential to a successful long lasting relationship.


When I'm sixty five I'll probably just want a good feed. I won't care what the person cooking it looks like.


The concept of love changes over time. When you meet someone great looking, you may think, ‘Yes I can fall in love with them' but in order for a relationship to last you need a bit more than Angelina Jolie lips and Shilpa Shetty hair. Looks aren't everything, sometimes a bit of Anne Robinson is what you need. Still, you don't want your husband to stray and unless you can keep him on a leather leash, I think you do still have to take care of your appearance. A blue rinse and some trouser braces can take five years off your marriage and stop your husband gawping at some passing silicon. And for men, sometimes all a woman really wants after thirty years is a receding hairline, a bit of toupee, some false teeth and a bit of a limp. Priorities can drop as time goes on and physical attraction can be at the bottom of the list whilst having a best friend as a husband or wife can be at the top. All you have to worry about once you've decided that you really do find each other attractive is, "Will you still need me, and will you still feed me, when I'm sixty four?"



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