The funniest thing: ‘My local rabbi is funnier than most standups’

The funniest standup I’ve ever seen

Robin Williams, Mill Valley, San Francisco 2013, a year before his death. He is the funniest standup I have ever seen and ever will see. There will never be anyone like him; unique, intelligent, unpredictable, himself.

The funniest person I know

My local rabbi. Funnier than most standups. I go to my local synagogue to hear him speak; I’m not even Jewish, but it’s better than the Comedy Store and he always does an encore.

The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned

Knitted knickers. When I’m touring Norway and Sweden in winter it does get very cold, and all bodily parts need to be catered for.

The funniest book I’ve ever read

Woody Allen’s Side Effects. Over the top, hilarious, awkward – just like him. Great gags, great writer. He draws you into his ludicrous world and you wonder if this story really happened or not. It probably did.

The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen

Curb Your Enthusiasm. A cringeworthy, embarrassing, uncomfortable, oblivious-to-social-faux-pas comedy.

The funniest heckle I’ve ever had

“You’re not Omid Djalili!” Forty minutes into the show. It took them that long to realise I wasn’t a large Arab man and I don’t do belly dancing.

The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten

A caiman’s penis.

The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had

When I was seven, my mum made me go to the hairdressers and ask for a “Lady Diana haircut”. As though that would turn me into Lady Diana and help me get a husband.

The funniest dream I’ve ever had

I was Monica Lewinsky washing my clothes in a public toilet.

The funniest joke I’ve ever heard

Richard Pryor: “My father died fucking. My father was 57 when he died. The woman was 18. My father came and went at the same time.”